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Funerals Help With Grieving

funeral homes in West Des Moines, IA

There are a lot of things you can do to help yourself through the grieving process and funeral homes in West Des Moines, IA are there to aid you in those processes. Many families like to have final services for their loved ones, not only to address that person’s needs, but also for the family members who are left behind. Here are some of the things that funerals and other final services can do to help you with the grieving process.

Get Closure Over The Death

One thing you are going to have to have in order to move forward with a new sense of normal in your life is closure over your loved one’s death. You need to understand that they are gone and not coming back. That closure can come in a variety of ways, but one way you might get it is through a final service. When you see your loved one in their casket at the visitation or funeral, for instance, you might recognize the truth and gain access to that closure.

Say That Final Goodbye

It’s hard to let a loved one go unless you have said goodbye. Some people are able to say that goodbye before the person passes on, but that’s not always the case. If you need to say goodbye, you might get that chance at the funeral service. You can say goodbye to them in their casket, or even in your heart when you go through the motions of the service. Saying goodbye can help you to let go and move on with your own life.

Get Family Support

Funerals are a good time for family to gather. You might see people you haven’t in a long time and you can get the support you need from the people who care about you the most. While no one can replace your loved one, having family around you can help you to see what you still have going for you and who you still have loving you.

Find Comfort In Traditions

Funerals go through certain traditions and rituals. That can be comforting to you and other family members. You know what to expect. Perhaps you have gotten a certain level of comfort from funerals in the past and this time, you are looking for a similar piece of comfort. You are honoring your loved one in a nice way.

funeral homes in West Des Moines, IA

Have Funeral Home Support

The funeral home is going to be there for you every step of the way. They want you to be able to honor your loved one in whatever way you see fit. Their support can mean a lot to you in the planning process, but also as a part of the funeral service. You know they are there, behind the scenes, making sure everything is going to work well for your loved one and the rest of your family.

When you work with funeral homes in West Des Moines, IA, you are honoring your loved one and getting some grief support for you as well. Contact Iles Funeral Home for help.

Preparing Your Home For A Memorial

funeral homes in Des Moines, IA

There are many locations in which you can have a memorial services for a loved one who has passed on. Many families like to have that service in funeral homes in Des Moines, IA because the professionals are there to help with the details and that can be really comforting. But you can also have the service in your home church, in a park, or even in a family home. If your family has asked for you to host the memorial in your house, here are some things you might want to do to prepare.

Deep Clean The Home

One of the first things you are going to want to do is a deep clean on your home. You want everything to be clean and fresh for your family members and friends. Stock the bathroom with tissues and toilet paper, vacuum the floors, clean the blinds, remove dust from every surface and so on. If you are also grieving, you might want help with this cleaning process. You can have other family members come in to help or you might even allow your friends who want to help to come in and get things ready for you.

Organize The Cords

Do you have any cords from lamps that traverse the room? It’s wise to move those out of the way so you don’t have anyone tripping over them. Unplug those items and move the cords to the side. If you don’t have options on moving or unplugging the cords, make sure they are covered with rugs so you don’t have any hazards in the way.

Move Furniture

You may want to move the furniture around so you can allow for easier access to certain spaces for your guests. Maybe you aren’t going to have anyone sitting in the dining room, but rather will be leaving that table for food. Take the chairs out of that room and place them elsewhere so people can access the food on the table to use buffet style.

Give More Seating Room

You might want your family to be able to sit down, either for the service, or for the gathering in general. Bring up some folding chairs, have family members bring over what they have, or rent more chairs to make sure you have enough seating for those who might be in attendance.

Add Plants

People may send you flowers or plants for the service and you will want them to be featured in a nice spot for the service. Perhaps put some flowers or plants at the entrance of your home as a greeting to people and surround the guestbook or urn with more beautiful flowers.

funeral homes in Des Moines, IA

Make a Plan For Your Pet

If you have pets that usually wander the home, you might want to make a plan for them to be out of the way during the service. Have them in an upstairs room, for example, or ask a neighbor to take them for the day. There are more tips from funeral homes in Des Moines, IA if you will be having a service in your home.

Reputation Is Important In Funeral Homes

funeral homes in Urbandale, IA

No one wants to have to work with one of the funeral homes in Urbandale, IA because it usually means that a loved one has passed on. However, when it comes down to it and you need that kind of help, you are going to want to ensure that your loved one is in good hands. It will give you peace of mind to know that their needs are being met and that they are being treated with the utmost care and respect. Here are a few ways you can find funeral home options with high reputations.

Ask Around For Recommendations

Many people in the community don’t have to use funeral homes very often. You may have never been in charge of planning services yourself in the past. That is a good thing because it means your family members are healthy and alive. However, when you do need a funeral home, you don’t know where to start in finding one with a good reputation. One of the best things you can do is go straight to people you trust who have used funeral homes in recent years. Ask them about their experiences. Their recommendations can help you trust a funeral home based on the things they say about them.

Look At Outside Reviews

Looking at funeral home websites can tell you a lot about the funeral home’s services, location, history, and other such things. It’s important to look at those items. But you aren’t going to be able to learn the full truth about what people think there because, of course, they are only going to put up comments that are positive. Luckily, there are plenty of other review sites and people will be blatantly honest about their experiences. If they have a wonderful experience, they’ll say so. If something went wrong, even something minor, they’ll likely bring that up, too. If you can’t find anything negative anywhere, that’s a great sign about the funeral home you are looking into.

Check Social Media Posts

Most companies, even funeral homes, have social media accounts and that is a great thing to look into when you are trying to figure out what type of funeral home you might be dealing with. Check into their recent posts, but also scroll back a bit. Do they have anything posted that makes you feel uncomfortable? Or are all of their posts tasteful and nice? IF you appreciate their social media, that means they are really trying to do their best for the community and that will show up in their services for your loved one as well.

funeral homes in Urbandale, IA

You might feel rushed to find a funeral home in Urbandale, IA when a loved one passes on because they have needs and you want to meet them. But you should always take some time to look into reputation so you can trust the experts you end up hiring. The professionals at Iles Funeral Home are here to answer any questions you have to put your mind at ease. Your love done will be safe with us.

Worst Decisions You Could Make At Funeral Homes

Funeral homes in Des Moines, IA

Funeral homes in Des Moines, IA that have been serving the community for decades have seen all sorts of families come through with all sorts of situations. They have also seen services go perfectly and they have seen families make mistakes that they regret later. With that experience, they are there to help you, in whatever situation you are in, avoid some of the worst decisions others have made in the past. Here are some of those bad decisions and why you want to guard against them.

Ignoring The Person’s Wishes

Your loved one made it very clear that they wanted to be cremated so their ashes could be spread in a certain location. They may not have made their final plans themselves, but they trusted their family to carry out their final wishes. One of the worst decisions you can make is to go against that final wish and have a funeral and burial for your loved one, despite what you know they wanted. You will likely have regrets later and if any of your other family members knew what your loved one wanted and know that you went against it, there could be trouble there as well. It’s always best to honor what a person wanted if you know what that was. If you aren’t sure, the best you can do is guess based on what you know about them.

Not Having Final Services

Your loved one has certain needs and it’s best to meet those first. But once you have their needs lined up and met, you can have a final service for them, if you so choose. It is usually a bad decision to do nothing at all. You don’t have to go all out with a huge funeral that is open to the public. You can even have a small memorial with just family in your home. Having something to honor the person and to say goodbye is usually the best way to go.

Overspending Your Comfort Level

It’s always best to have a budget in mind for your loved one’s final services and once you have that cost parameter lined up, it’s best to stick to it. If you choose a bunch of expensive things because of your emotions and because you want the best for your loved one, that’s a bad decision to make. You will regret it later when you struggle to pay for what you lined up. Instead, let the funeral home know what you want to spend and lean on them for guidance as you choose products and services you can afford.

funeral homes in Des Moines, IA

Funeral homes in Des Moines, IA are there to help you through the planning process from start to finish. We want you to honor your loved one in whatever way you see fit, but we also don’t want you to regret anything you did later on. The professionals at Iles Funeral Home are here to help with the planning and implementation of your loved one’s final services.

Have No Regrets After Choosing A Cemetery

funeral homes in West Des Moines, IA

When you decide to have traditional services with funeral homes in West Des Moines, IA for a loved one, or if you want to bury someone after their cremation, you are going to need a cemetery. The professionals at the funeral home you used are there to help you with the entire process and they can help point you to cemeteries that are good options. However, you can choose wrong and you can have regrets later. You want to avoid that, if at all possible. Here are some possible regrets and how you can avoid having them.

Regret 1: A Bad Location

One thing you want to take note of regarding any cemetery you consider is the location. You want the location to be a good one so you can visit. If it’s way out of your way, you might not be able to get there as often as you would like. It might be something that causes you regret if you hear that other family can’t visit because of where the cemetery is. Make sure the location is good for everyone, if at all possible.

Regret 2: Lack OF Maintenance

Visit the cemetery before you commit to using it and find out, in detail, what the maintenance is like. You don’t want to visit to find your loved one’s grave unkempt because you didn’t know you were to maintain it yourself or that the maintenance in that cemetery doesn’t happen very often. That can make you feel bad about where you placed your loved one and that’s never a good feeling.

Regret 3: Spending Too Much

Cemeteries should offer fair prices and you might feel like you spent too much if you chose a cemetery that had prices that were above average. Look at the prices with care and compare them to other cemeteries in the area. You deserve fair prices that give you quality at the same time. That’s what you want for your loved one as well.

Regret 4: No Other Spaces Nearby

funeral homes in West Des Moines, IA

If you buy a plot for your loved one without considering plots around them, that might be something you regret later, too. You might have other family that want to be close to them and when that future time comes, there’s no space. Check out the spaces available and thoroughly think through what you or others might want before you place a loved one to rest somewhere with no room around them. You don’t want regrets over something you can’t change later.

The professionals within the funeral homes in West Des Moines, IA are going to do their best to help you think of everything so you don’t have any regrets later. You want to be confident about any decisions you make regarding your loved one’s final services and the cemetery you bury them within. The experts at Iles Funeral Home can help you go over cemetery options and rules so you are fully informed before you make any choices you could regret later.

How To Choose A Funeral Home

funeral homes in Urbandale, IA

There are many important professionals you are going to have to work with over your lifetime and some are more important than others. You are going to want a reputable provider when you get to a new city and need to build a house. You want a lawyer you can trust when you have legal documents drawn up. And you need people you can trust to do a good job when you have to have services from funeral homes in Urbandale, IA from a loved one. While you might have experience choosing professionals in many areas, not everyone has had to work with a funeral home before. Here are a few tips to help you choose the right professionals for that important work.

Key Takeaways:

It would be best if you chose a funeral home with a good reputation. Ask for recommendations from your family and friends, or research funeral homes online to find out what people say about them. It’s also essential to ensure the funeral home is established and provides quality service. Talk to different establishments to understand their prices, services, and professionalism.

1. Ask Friends For Recommendations

Ask Friends For Recommendation

Even if you haven’t had to use a funeral home recently, you might have someone in your life that has. Ask friends for recommendations regarding funeral home professionals in the area. They might have had a good experience with a local funeral home and can offer you a great recommendation. Or, if they had a less than stellar experience, that can be advantageous to know as well so you can avoid that company.

2. Look For Experience

Look For Experience

You want experts who know what they are doing and that can only come with experience. Check out funeral home websites and see how long they have been in business. You can look into their background, how they started out, and get other information in that manner. You might even be able to find out more about the funeral director you would work with. You definitely want to know specifically how long that person has been there and what their background is like since they will be in charge of a lot of the details you hand over to them.

3. Check Websites

Check Websites

While the funeral home websites can tell you a lot, you are going to want to look at other sites as well. Start with the funeral home sites and you can get details on the services they offer. Look over their blog and see that the information is helpful and sound. Check the obituary page and ensure that things look pleasant there. Read as much as you can on them and watch for any red flags that might come up on their website. Then, you can move to outside sites.

4. Look At Reviews

The funeral home website will only have good things on their site, of course, but you can find reviews about them in other locations online—and you should. These reviews will tell you the full story. If those reviews are also good, you can trust that provider. If they aren’t, at least you have the full truth and you can move to another option.

5. Visit The Options

Visit The Options

Once you have some funeral homes in Urbandale, IA in mind, visit them in person and take some tours so you can better judge how they treat you and what they have to offer. The pros at Iles Funeral Home are ready to help at any time.

Visitation Options And Details

funeral home in Des Moines, IA

When planning services with a funeral home in Des Moines, IA for a loved one who passed on, there are always going to be options. There are also options around visitations and whether you are the person planning, or just someone who wants to attend, there are things you can consider about that part of the service. Here are some of the options you can choose between:

Items To Wear

You might feel like there is a certain dress code that is appropriate for a funeral, and that’s really the case. With a visitation, you have a lot more wiggle room and options. You don’t have to wear dark colors, for example. You don’t even have to dress in a formal manner. You might stop by the visitation on a break from work and just wear your work attire. You want to be respectful and should probably change if you have on a dirty t-shirt or ripped jeans, but there’s a lot of options of what you can wear to a visitation. You can always talk to a family member or the funeral home professionals to get deeper ideas.

The Arrival Time

For a funeral or even a memorial service, you want to be there a little before the start time so you are respectful to the family and don’t disrupt anything. For a visitation, it’s completely different. There are hours set and they are more of an open house. You can come any time between those hours and leave whenever you please. You don’t have to get there right at the beginning or stay all the way until the end. You come and go as you’d like, visit with the family, and move on with your day.

How Long It Lasts

Funeral services are usually around an hour in length and then, the family and friend group processes to the burial site for a short service there. Then, there’s sometimes a reception after that. Visitations are different. They are anywhere from 2-4 hours in length, normally, but you don’t have to stay that whole time. Only the immediate family will likely be present for the whole thing. You can come halfway through and stay for half an hour and that works just fine. In fact, you don’t want to overstay and burden the family.

Viewing The Person

funeral home in Des Moines, IA

When you get to the visitation, you will likely see the person at the front of the space. That doesn’t mean you have to go up any closer to them if you don’t want to. The decision as to whether or not you want to approach the casket is completely yours. Go over if you want to see them or need closure. If you don’t know them and came to support the family, or feel uncomfortable with the idea of getting closure for any reason, you can stay back and that’s just fine as well. Your presence there is what’s important.

Funeral homes in Des Moines, IA can answer more questions. Call Iles Funeral Home at any time.

Getting Through A Death With The Funeral Home

funeral homes in West Des Moines, IA

When a loved one passes on, the grief can be immediate or it can sneak up on you. Either way, you are going to need help from the professionals in funeral homes in West Des Moines, IA to meet your loved one’s needs and to help you plan things out for their final services. These professionals are going to help you get through your loved one’s death and start the process of saying that final goodbye.

They Offer Support And Compassion

One of the first things you will notice about the funeral home is how supportive they are throughout the process. They know you need certain things, like compassion, as you work your way through the plans. That can be hard for some people to give, but it’s automatic for funeral directors. They are naturally compassionate people and they get a lot of practice at it, too. They are also going to support you through your decisions. They will give you the information you need to make choices and as you make them, they support you in them. You’ll feel good about the options you are putting together with their support.

They Cover Your Loved One’s Needs

It’s important to you, first and foremost, that your loved one’s needs are going to be met and that’s something you get right away with the right funeral home. Once you decide to use them, they are going to take care of transporting your loved one from the place of their death to their facilities. There, they can care for them with dignity as you decide what you want to do. You know your loved one’s needs are met and they are in good hands in the meantime while you plan.

They Have Grief Resources

Your primary concern right away might be caring for your loved one’s needs and getting your family what they need to get closure, say goodbye, and move forward. But at some point, you will need to focus on yourself and your own grief as well. The funeral home is going to be there for you through that also. They understand that every grieving process is unique and they have grief resources that might be suited to what you are going through. You can ask them for references for grief support groups, counselors, and other things to get through this hard time.

Get Tips For Self Care

funeral homes in West Des Moines, IA

The funeral home professionals are going to recommend that you care for yourself throughout this grieving and planning process. They want you to understand that while grief is never easy, it’s only going to be harder if you aren’t caring for yourself. They might recommend that you take breaks and rest, that you eat a good meal, and other things out of concern for your well being during this process.

There’s nothing easy about working with funeral homes in West Des Moines, IA on final services for a loved one, but the professionals at Iles Funeral Home promise to be there for you through it all.

Saying That Final Goodbye

funeral homes in Urbandale, IA

One thing you might feel the need to do once a loved one passes on is say goodbye to them, someway somehow. If you weren’t present at their death and you weren’t able to say goodbye prior to their passing, there are things you can do around the services you are going to hold at funeral homes in Urbandale, IA that can help you say what you need to say in order to move forward. Here are a few options to consider.

Attend The Visitation Service

The visitation is more of an open house and unless you are close family, you can come and go as you please during that service. When you attend, you’ll want to talk to the family that is there for the duration to extend your sympathies. While it’s not required to approach the casket, that might be something you want to do so you can view your loved one and get a few personal moments with them to say the goodbye you feel the need to say before you move forward with your life.

Write To Them

You won’t mail it, but writing a letter to your loved one to say goodbye can also let you get what you need out. You might feel like you are able to express yourself better in writing and take your time with what you want to say. You can even place this letter in the casket with your loved one, if you choose. You can also keep it, rip it up, burn it, or do whatever else you want to do with it. It can be a nice way to say whatever you want and get that out.

Attend The Funeral

Funerals are filled with rituals that are meant to help you get closure over a loved one’s passing. You can also get that final goodbye in, even if you say it silently in your heart as you watch the proceedings. Going to the funeral can help give you a sense of peace over the fact that you honored your loved one in a nice way as well.

Visit The Cemetery That Day Or Later

funeral homes in Urbandale, IA

Funeral services often conclude at the cemetery where there is a shorter burial service. This service is another place where you can say goodbye. Perhaps family will take turns laying a flower on the casket and you can say goodbye then. Or, you might all throw a little dirt onto the casket. This service has a way of giving people closure and that chance at a final goodbye as well. You could also return to the cemetery later when you are alone and have a chance to speak to your loved one’s headstone to say what you want to say.

There’s nothing easy about saying goodbye, but the services at funeral homes in Urbandale, IA give you lots of chances to do just that. If you are struggling with your words, or need help processing the death, the experts at Iles Funeral Home are here with grief resources and options.

The Reception After The Funeral Home Service

funeral homes in Des Moines, IA

If you have decided that you want to have a traditional service with funeral homes in Des Moines, IA, for your loved one, you may then want to have a reception after the funeral is complete. The reception is a more casual time that allows your family to eat, catch up, mourn together, and just spend extra time as a unit. You are all people who lost someone special and banding together during that time can be really helpful. Here are some details to help you pull everything together in time for the funeral.

Let Someone Else Do It

As you move through the plans for the final service, a friend, community member, church group, or someone else might step up and offer to host the reception for you. That’s a very nice offer and can take something big off your plate. You can tell them what you want included or just let them take care of things and appreciate whatever they end up doing.

Book A Restaurant

If you are having just a small group for the reception, you might want to book a private room in a restaurant your loved one liked. You don’t have to worry about food or everyone getting what they want. Everyone can order what they want in a private setting where you can be together, share memories, and spend time with one another.

Bring Pictures Along

It can be nice to pass around a photo album of your family that include your loved one. People can look through the books and remember some of the good times all of you had together. It might also bring up stories and memories that can be fun to share when you are in a setting that is less formal than the funeral service itself might have been.

Consider Their Music

If you are able to play music in the background, choose a playlist your loved one would have enjoyed. If they listened to nothing but country, playing that type of music will bring them to mind and help everyone remember them as you commiserate after the services and enjoy each other’s company for longer.

Gather Food Options

funeral homes in Des Moines, IA

You could also approach the reception as more of a potluck and have certain people bring favorites your loved one adored. Someone might cook a casserole they loved and someone else could bring their favorite dessert. Having some of their items at the table along with the people who loved them can feel very special.

You are going to want to customize and personalize the services you have at funeral homes in Des Moines, IA for your loved one and that is also true for what you do for the reception after the services. If you have questions about the types of things that people usually do, or you want ideas for more unique things, the professionals at Iles Funeral Home can help. We know the area well and can give you options for restaurant and other venues that are good for receptions after funerals.