Preparing Your Home For A Memorial Posted on January 10, 2022 by ilesfuneralhomes There are many locations in which you can have a memorial services for a loved one who has passed on. Many families like to have that service in funeral homes in Des Moines, IA because the professionals are there to help with the details and that can be really comforting. But you can also have the service in your home church, in a park, or even in a family home. If your family has asked for you to host the memorial in your house, here are some things you might want to do to prepare. Deep Clean The Home One of the first things you are going to want to do is a deep clean on your home. You want everything to be clean and fresh for your family members and friends. Stock the bathroom with tissues and toilet paper, vacuum the floors, clean the blinds, remove dust from every surface and so on. If you are also grieving, you might want help with this cleaning process. You can have other family members come in to help or you might even allow your friends who want to help to come in and get things ready for you. Organize The Cords Do you have any cords from lamps that traverse the room? It’s wise to move those out of the way so you don’t have anyone tripping over them. Unplug those items and move the cords to the side. If you don’t have options on moving or unplugging the cords, make sure they are covered with rugs so you don’t have any hazards in the way. Move Furniture You may want to move the furniture around so you can allow for easier access to certain spaces for your guests. Maybe you aren’t going to have anyone sitting in the dining room, but rather will be leaving that table for food. Take the chairs out of that room and place them elsewhere so people can access the food on the table to use buffet style. Give More Seating Room You might want your family to be able to sit down, either for the service, or for the gathering in general. Bring up some folding chairs, have family members bring over what they have, or rent more chairs to make sure you have enough seating for those who might be in attendance. Add Plants People may send you flowers or plants for the service and you will want them to be featured in a nice spot for the service. Perhaps put some flowers or plants at the entrance of your home as a greeting to people and surround the guestbook or urn with more beautiful flowers. Make a Plan For Your Pet If you have pets that usually wander the home, you might want to make a plan for them to be out of the way during the service. Have them in an upstairs room, for example, or ask a neighbor to take them for the day. There are more tips from funeral homes in Des Moines, IA if you will be having a service in your home.
Stages Of Grief Around Cremation Services Posted on January 3, 2022 by ilesfuneralhomes When you are going through the grieving process, there are a lot of emotions floating around. Those are going to come whether you have a traditional funeral service or cremation services in Des Moines, IA. One thing you need to know about the stages of grief that you may have heard about is that there are no real timelines on any of the stages. You might get stuck in one stage or you might fly through a stage. You could pass one stage entirely or go back and forth between two stages. Your grief is completely unique and you shouldn’t compare what you are experiencing to what anyone else is going through. Here are some of the stages and how to get through them if they come to you. Getting Through Denial This is generally one of the first stages you will feel, if you feel it at all. In this stage, you are denying that your loved one had passed on. The best thing you can do in this stage is find closure over the death. That means that you need to recognize that your loved one has passed on and they are not returning. You might want to see them before cremation or you may want to witness the cremation. That can help you come to terms with what has happened and it can help you move past denial. The Pain Of Anger Losing someone is never fair and you are quite possibly going to be angry over the situation. Why them? Why now? Why did they pass in the way they did? There are a lot of things to be angry about, but it’s not going to help anything. Try to find ways that you can move past the anger and into acceptance. Deep breathing can help or talking about your emotions. You can also vent your anger by going to the batting cages to hit some balls or getting your aggression out in other ways. Bargaining Is Normal Some people find that they do their best to bargain for their loved one’s life, but this stage is one that can really hurt and it’s never going to end up in your favor. There’s nothing you can offer to God or anyone else that is going to bring your loved one back. But feeling as if you would trade anything to have even one more day with them is a normal thing to feel. Deal With Depression One of the most common things people feel when they are grieving is a deep sadness or depression. You might feel like there is no hope and that can be very overwhelming. Let your family comfort and support you and try to find hope in your life so you are able to move on with a new sense of normal. If you need grief support around cremation services in Des Moines, IA, contact the professionals at Iles Funeral Home for suggestions on where you can find what you need.
Cremation Services For Musicians Posted on December 27, 2021 by ilesfuneralhomes You enjoy music, most people do, but perhaps you just flip the radio on in your car or at home when it’s too quiet. You haven’t made music your life. It’s possible that you have one or more musicians in your family, though, and when you are tasked with creating cremation services in Urbandale, IA for one of those musical people, you may want to do things differently for them than you would an average music enjoyer. Here are some options to consider when you make the plans. Display Certain Instruments If your loved one was musically inclined and talented, they might have played one or more instruments. You can display those instruments at their final services to remind everyone about the music they loved. People might remember seeing them play that certain guitar you have at the front of the room and you can even place pictures of them around with that instrument in their hands to illustrate the point further. Play Their Songs If your loved one had songs they loved to play, there might even be recordings of them out there playing that music. If so, using those songs as the background for the service, or even as an integral part of the service is a great way to honor them. If you don’t have recordings, you can still play the songs you know they appreciated and loved. You could even incorporate special music with those songs to honor their love of those tunes further. Invite Other Musicians Musicians understand other musicians and it’s likely that your loved one had a circle of friends who loved music as much as they did. Perhaps they played in a community orchestra, had a band, or sang in the choir at church. Make sure the other people who loved music alongside your loved one are invited to their service. They would be happy to have them there. You could also use these individuals as insiders into what your loved one adored. They might even be able to provide some special music they know your loved one would appreciate. Consider An Instrument As A Resting Place While urns are the standard resting place for cremated remains, they are certainly not the only option. In fact, for a musical person in your family, it might feel more right to have them reside inside an instrument they adored. Many instruments have natural holes that can easily hold ashes. You could place their ashes inside a guitar, for example, and then hand that instrument on the wall of your home in a place of honor. There are plenty of other options to consider, depending on what your loved one liked the most. When you are going to have cremation services in Urbandale, IA for a musician, the professionals Iles Funeral Home are here to help you create something special for your family and for the person who passed on. We want you to be able to honor them and the things that they loved the most during their lifetime, which just might be music.
Reputation Is Important In Funeral Homes Posted on December 20, 2021 by ilesfuneralhomes No one wants to have to work with one of the funeral homes in Urbandale, IA because it usually means that a loved one has passed on. However, when it comes down to it and you need that kind of help, you are going to want to ensure that your loved one is in good hands. It will give you peace of mind to know that their needs are being met and that they are being treated with the utmost care and respect. Here are a few ways you can find funeral home options with high reputations. Ask Around For Recommendations Many people in the community don’t have to use funeral homes very often. You may have never been in charge of planning services yourself in the past. That is a good thing because it means your family members are healthy and alive. However, when you do need a funeral home, you don’t know where to start in finding one with a good reputation. One of the best things you can do is go straight to people you trust who have used funeral homes in recent years. Ask them about their experiences. Their recommendations can help you trust a funeral home based on the things they say about them. Look At Outside Reviews Looking at funeral home websites can tell you a lot about the funeral home’s services, location, history, and other such things. It’s important to look at those items. But you aren’t going to be able to learn the full truth about what people think there because, of course, they are only going to put up comments that are positive. Luckily, there are plenty of other review sites and people will be blatantly honest about their experiences. If they have a wonderful experience, they’ll say so. If something went wrong, even something minor, they’ll likely bring that up, too. If you can’t find anything negative anywhere, that’s a great sign about the funeral home you are looking into. Check Social Media Posts Most companies, even funeral homes, have social media accounts and that is a great thing to look into when you are trying to figure out what type of funeral home you might be dealing with. Check into their recent posts, but also scroll back a bit. Do they have anything posted that makes you feel uncomfortable? Or are all of their posts tasteful and nice? IF you appreciate their social media, that means they are really trying to do their best for the community and that will show up in their services for your loved one as well. You might feel rushed to find a funeral home in Urbandale, IA when a loved one passes on because they have needs and you want to meet them. But you should always take some time to look into reputation so you can trust the experts you end up hiring. The professionals at Iles Funeral Home are here to answer any questions you have to put your mind at ease. Your love done will be safe with us.
Worst Decisions You Could Make At Funeral Homes Posted on December 13, 2021 by ilesfuneralhomes Funeral homes in Des Moines, IA that have been serving the community for decades have seen all sorts of families come through with all sorts of situations. They have also seen services go perfectly and they have seen families make mistakes that they regret later. With that experience, they are there to help you, in whatever situation you are in, avoid some of the worst decisions others have made in the past. Here are some of those bad decisions and why you want to guard against them. Ignoring The Person’s Wishes Your loved one made it very clear that they wanted to be cremated so their ashes could be spread in a certain location. They may not have made their final plans themselves, but they trusted their family to carry out their final wishes. One of the worst decisions you can make is to go against that final wish and have a funeral and burial for your loved one, despite what you know they wanted. You will likely have regrets later and if any of your other family members knew what your loved one wanted and know that you went against it, there could be trouble there as well. It’s always best to honor what a person wanted if you know what that was. If you aren’t sure, the best you can do is guess based on what you know about them. Not Having Final Services Your loved one has certain needs and it’s best to meet those first. But once you have their needs lined up and met, you can have a final service for them, if you so choose. It is usually a bad decision to do nothing at all. You don’t have to go all out with a huge funeral that is open to the public. You can even have a small memorial with just family in your home. Having something to honor the person and to say goodbye is usually the best way to go. Overspending Your Comfort Level It’s always best to have a budget in mind for your loved one’s final services and once you have that cost parameter lined up, it’s best to stick to it. If you choose a bunch of expensive things because of your emotions and because you want the best for your loved one, that’s a bad decision to make. You will regret it later when you struggle to pay for what you lined up. Instead, let the funeral home know what you want to spend and lean on them for guidance as you choose products and services you can afford. Funeral homes in Des Moines, IA are there to help you through the planning process from start to finish. We want you to honor your loved one in whatever way you see fit, but we also don’t want you to regret anything you did later on. The professionals at Iles Funeral Home are here to help with the planning and implementation of your loved one’s final services.
Considering Putting Off Cremation Service Memorials Posted on December 6, 2021 by ilesfuneralhomes If someone in your family passes on, you might want to have some kind of final service for them to honor their memory. If you go with a funeral, that will happen within a few days of their death and is a nice way to give everyone closure and a chance to say a final goodbye. However, it can also add extra stress and burdens to your family as you try to plan something in short order. Cremation services in Des Moines, IA, on the other hand, come with options when it comes to the timeline of a memorial service. You can still do something right away, if you wish, but you can also put the services off for a week, two weeks, a month, or even longer. Here are some of the reasons why delaying the memorial service might work better for you. Family Can Plan Their Travel You might have some family in the area, but there are also members who have spread out over the years. Which is easier on them, traveling somewhere with only a day or two of notice or traveling somewhere with a week or more to plan things out? Giving them notice and the time to plan their travel, get time off work, and so on can ensure that you will have more family members who are able to make it. You may not want to rule someone out from attending the service just because they are far away and need time to get to your location. Instead, you can put the memorial off, plan a date, let everyone know, and give them all fair warning to get things in order. To Plan Something Special Memorial services that you have soon after someone’s death can be very nice and very special. But you might want to put together something that takes a little more time. Having more time to plan the service out can give you the opportunity to create something that feels more unique and special. When a family member passes on, you have a lot to deal with and the services being a bit off can give you the time you need to get everything you want prepared. Grieve Before Planning Grief can hit hard and you might feel like you are in shock or that your brain is all foggy. It’s hard to make decisions about a memorial when your grief is that heavy and it might be better for you to wait a bit until the worst of the fog has lifted. Then, you are able to think clearly and put something together that your loved one would have appreciated. If you decide on cremation services in Des Moines, IA for a loved one, you will first want to take care of their needs. That means getting a cremation packaged lined up for them. This package is going to include everything they have to have for the cremation process. Once the cremation is complete, you can worry about the memorial service with the professionals at Iles Funeral Home later.
Have No Regrets After Choosing A Cemetery Posted on November 22, 2021 by ilesfuneralhomes When you decide to have traditional services with funeral homes in West Des Moines, IA for a loved one, or if you want to bury someone after their cremation, you are going to need a cemetery. The professionals at the funeral home you used are there to help you with the entire process and they can help point you to cemeteries that are good options. However, you can choose wrong and you can have regrets later. You want to avoid that, if at all possible. Here are some possible regrets and how you can avoid having them. Regret 1: A Bad Location One thing you want to take note of regarding any cemetery you consider is the location. You want the location to be a good one so you can visit. If it’s way out of your way, you might not be able to get there as often as you would like. It might be something that causes you regret if you hear that other family can’t visit because of where the cemetery is. Make sure the location is good for everyone, if at all possible. Regret 2: Lack OF Maintenance Visit the cemetery before you commit to using it and find out, in detail, what the maintenance is like. You don’t want to visit to find your loved one’s grave unkempt because you didn’t know you were to maintain it yourself or that the maintenance in that cemetery doesn’t happen very often. That can make you feel bad about where you placed your loved one and that’s never a good feeling. Regret 3: Spending Too Much Cemeteries should offer fair prices and you might feel like you spent too much if you chose a cemetery that had prices that were above average. Look at the prices with care and compare them to other cemeteries in the area. You deserve fair prices that give you quality at the same time. That’s what you want for your loved one as well. Regret 4: No Other Spaces Nearby If you buy a plot for your loved one without considering plots around them, that might be something you regret later, too. You might have other family that want to be close to them and when that future time comes, there’s no space. Check out the spaces available and thoroughly think through what you or others might want before you place a loved one to rest somewhere with no room around them. You don’t want regrets over something you can’t change later. The professionals within the funeral homes in West Des Moines, IA are going to do their best to help you think of everything so you don’t have any regrets later. You want to be confident about any decisions you make regarding your loved one’s final services and the cemetery you bury them within. The experts at Iles Funeral Home can help you go over cemetery options and rules so you are fully informed before you make any choices you could regret later.
Talking To Loved Ones About Cremation Pre-Plans Posted on November 15, 2021 by ilesfuneralhomes If you have taken it upon yourself to make your own plans for cremation services West Des Moines, IA in the future, that’s a huge step and a wonderful thing to do for your family. While you might already have the plans in place, you still want to let your family know that there are plans and where they can call when the time comes. Even if you are young and healthy, it’s good to let your family in on what you planned out so they can have time to process their own feelings and get used to the ideas of what you want. Here are some tips to help you talk to your family about what you planned. Find A Good Time First, you are going to want a good time to talk about this serious subject. You don’t want a bunch of the kids in the family running around and interrupting. You need quiet, dedicated time for the discussion. Wait until the kids go to bed, have a family dinner at another location, or get on an internet facetime call so you can have the time you need for this important subject. Let everyone know what you want to discuss so they aren’t shocked, too. Know What You Want With Reasons Once you have everyone you want to talk to gathered, let them in on what you have planned out and be prepared to offer reasons. There are no right or wrong reasons for choosing cremation and if that’s what you want, that’s reason enough. But some of your family might push you and want to know why you set things up the way you did. If it’s because you didn’t want to spend much, tell them. If it’s because you want to be scattered in a certain location, let them know. Having your reasons in hand can help you to explain and it can help them feel comfortable about the process as a whole. Allow Questions Don’t treat the process as a dictatorship. Even if the plans are set and you know what you want, it’s nice to let your family ask questions. They might come up with things that you hadn’t yet thought about. If nothing else, it’s nice for them to get the answer directly from you rather than having to wonder about it in the future after you pass on and can no longer answer. Ask What Others Want If there are certain things you aren’t sure about, you could ask your family what they would like to have happen. Or, you could use this as an opportunity to open the discussion and ask other people in your family what they would want in the future if they were to pass on first. If you want them to know what you would like, it might be nice for you to know what they want as well. You can plan your cremation services in West Des Moines, IA with Iles Funeral Home whenever you are ready.
Do You Need Grief Counseling After Cremation Services? Posted on November 8, 2021 by ilesfuneralhomes There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to grieving. It’s a process and not something that is going to happen overnight. When you are dealing with arranging cremation services in Urbandale, IA for a loved one and you are grieving at the same time, it can be a lot to handle. You want to make sure your loved one’s needs are set up and cared for and that’s important. But once they are handled, you have to focus on yourself and what you need as you grieve. You might find that having some counseling during the grieving process would be good for you. Here are a few signs that might point you in that direction. Physical Illness That Won’t Go Away If you are physically ill because of your grief, that’s not all that uncalled for or abnormal. But as time passes and you start to process your grief, you will want to think about those illnesses and why they aren’t going away. Visit with your doctor and see if there is something medical going on. If there doesn’t seem to be a reason for the ailment, it could be the grief that has a hold on you. A counselor can help you process your emotions, which could help you put the illness aside as well. Isolation Is Never Good There are doing to be times when you are grieving that you want to be alone and that’s perfectly normal and acceptable. But if you find that you are turning down every invitation and staying home at every opportunity, you might be isolating yourself and that is not a good sign. You need to be among people who love you and can support you through this hard time. If you are avoiding those chances, seek counseling to help yourself through this phase and to the next. Things Get Worse Instead Of Better Time isn’t going to heal the hole you might feel like you have in your heart, but as time passes, you will get better with dealing with your loved one’s absence. You’ll get used to the fact that they aren’t there, even though you still miss them. You might have a new normal in your life and are able to operate in a manner that works. However, if you feel that things are getting worse in your life instead of better as time passes, you need to do some work to turn it all around. Counseling might be a good avenue for you. There’s No Joy In Anything You used to love watching a certain TV show but now, you never laugh at the jokes. You used to adore your pets, but even the dog in your lap doesn’t make you smile. If you aren’t finding any joy in anything after the cremation services in Urbandale, IA, that’s not how your loved one would want you to live. Contact the professionals at Iles Funeral Home for counseling referrals to find happiness again.
How To Choose A Funeral Home Posted on November 1, 2021 by ilesfuneralhomes There are many important professionals you are going to have to work with over your lifetime and some are more important than others. You are going to want a reputable provider when you get to a new city and need to build a house. You want a lawyer you can trust when you have legal documents drawn up. And you need people you can trust to do a good job when you have to have services from funeral homes in Urbandale, IA from a loved one. While you might have experience choosing professionals in many areas, not everyone has had to work with a funeral home before. Here are a few tips to help you choose the right professionals for that important work. Key Takeaways: It would be best if you chose a funeral home with a good reputation. Ask for recommendations from your family and friends, or research funeral homes online to find out what people say about them. It’s also essential to ensure the funeral home is established and provides quality service. Talk to different establishments to understand their prices, services, and professionalism. 1. Ask Friends For Recommendations Even if you haven’t had to use a funeral home recently, you might have someone in your life that has. Ask friends for recommendations regarding funeral home professionals in the area. They might have had a good experience with a local funeral home and can offer you a great recommendation. Or, if they had a less than stellar experience, that can be advantageous to know as well so you can avoid that company. 2. Look For Experience You want experts who know what they are doing and that can only come with experience. Check out funeral home websites and see how long they have been in business. You can look into their background, how they started out, and get other information in that manner. You might even be able to find out more about the funeral director you would work with. You definitely want to know specifically how long that person has been there and what their background is like since they will be in charge of a lot of the details you hand over to them. 3. Check Websites While the funeral home websites can tell you a lot, you are going to want to look at other sites as well. Start with the funeral home sites and you can get details on the services they offer. Look over their blog and see that the information is helpful and sound. Check the obituary page and ensure that things look pleasant there. Read as much as you can on them and watch for any red flags that might come up on their website. Then, you can move to outside sites. 4. Look At Reviews The funeral home website will only have good things on their site, of course, but you can find reviews about them in other locations online—and you should. These reviews will tell you the full story. If those reviews are also good, you can trust that provider. If they aren’t, at least you have the full truth and you can move to another option. 5. Visit The Options Once you have some funeral homes in Urbandale, IA in mind, visit them in person and take some tours so you can better judge how they treat you and what they have to offer. The pros at Iles Funeral Home are ready to help at any time.
